He chops down an entire forest. He power lifts automobiles. He jogs all night long. He competes with broken legs. He grunts like a wild boar. Tim Tebow is probably the most intense human being you’ve ever seen. We get it. The man’s work ethic and drive to succeed are second to none. Commendable, even. What’s tough to endure is just how far He, his family and the rest of His handlers have gone (and will continue to go when His talent is once again questioned) to push the dream through to consumption. This is what’s left me in dire need of a Tebow Time Out.
Behind all of the legendeering and brand experimentation presented in the documentaries The Chosen One and Everything In Between, both in heavy rotation on NFL Network, smiles a frighteningly manipulative farce. Tim Tebow works very hard to symbolize the humble Everyman — at the very same time His marketing team pitches that He is God Almighty’s favorite. Of His two images, far too many are falling head over heals for the former (letting the latter slide). I mean, can’t you imagine having a beer with Him?
Just listen to a few passages from The Chosen One (above left video):
“Proverbs 27:2. Let another praise you and not your own mouth…a stranger and not your own lips.”
“He’s very well-grounded…doesn’t try to come across like He’s it…even though people know He’s it.”
“He definitely has not let the attention get to His head, like it does so often for so many kids. He’s humble and He’s quiet, and He’s also real serious about being the best player He can be.”
“When you take a look at everyone telling you you’re great, everybody wanting your autograph…to be able to stay humble is pretty amazing.”
I’m sorry. I don’t see humility when I look at Tim Tebow. I know that I’m supposed to fall for it hard. What I see is someone who previously drove feverish vanity campaigns — first with the top college coaches to recruit Him and then with the Denver Broncos to draft Him. Products like documentaries don’t get produced, packaged and promoted without the subject’s steering and approval. He can pump the brakes now and play the gosh golly game with us. “Tebow Time” is already a phenomenon. Perception has been altered.
Among the most far-fetched perceptions is that He’s a Hall of Famer in-the-making. He compared Himself to Steve Young long before his first professional game. Heck, it was before his first college snap. Surely, these claims must be supported by his performance, right?. Uh, no. Tebow isn’t first in any category among His peers (yes, He has those). What’s worse, He ranks last in pass completion percentage (48.5%) and passing yards per game (117.3), among those quarterbacks with 100 passing attempts or more.
Yes, He’s third in total rushing yards (517 yards). Sure, He has just two interceptions against 11 touchdowns. Okay, His team is 7-1 on His watch. Still, He’s not tops in anything. The Denver Broncos have played solid, opportunistic defense during their surge. Their placekicker kicks 59-yard field goals about 30 feet past the posts. Willis McGahee is enjoying a resurgence at running back. These are all playing major roles in the team’s success. It’s not all Timothy.
All of this begs a simple question. Shouldn’t Tim Tebow politely remind reporters that the fuss about Him is VASTLY misplaced? America, I’m just not comfortable with all of your attention! That will never leave His lips. Perhaps He, His Family and His handlers have stumbled upon something huge along the way. Maybe that’s changed their thinking about the best way to sell Him. Are you ready for it?
Timothy is average. He works very hard and fails a whole lot. He breaks down in defeat. He requires your attention and loving support. He’s perfect for all of His imperfections. Ugh.
Tebow Time is the menace of mediocrity at its worst. It’s messaging that implies that performance should somehow come second. After all, mantras of mediance permeate the American upbringing. Nothing new there. It’s the thought that counts. Practice makes perfect. Work harder than the next guy. If at first you don’t succeed — try, try again.
Tebow Time is that protective coddling that assures all of us that we are special snowflakes — no matter what. Honey, pay no attention to those mean boys and what they’re saying about you. We’ll make sure you’re drafted in the first round. We’ll get John Elway to accept you’re worthy of a professional future.
So go ahead and shout “Tebow!” on football Sunday. Timothy would never let any of your fanaticism go to His head. He’s doesn’t pat Himself on the back. He doesn’t think He’s God. He isn’t after every last dollar in your wallet. He doesn’t demand every ounce of respect you have to offer. There’s absolutely no entitlement complex with our Timothy.
Tebow Time to wake up, America.
